I feel very frustrated right now.
I've been trying to find a new job for about two years.
I'm working on some front end web development classes right now, but my job had been technical writing (and is currently "data entry").
In taking these classes, I haven't done any art for so long. And even though I do doodle stuff like Spindrift on a daily basis (just not generally good enough to post here), I haven't touched clay for a full year, I think. I bought a few beads, because there is a somewhat complicated wirework necklace I want to make, but those are sitting in a bag too. I'm just.. am I even focused on the right thing? Working on front end web development? It's hard to know. It isn't one of those things that has immediately clicked or anything like that, but I think it will fit well with my writing and graphic design type skills. I'm getting old and going back to school (even if not full time) is frustrating, and I hope employers don't pass me up when I have new skills but an old job history.
When I finish this online set of classes I will consider going to an actual "bootcamp" for more intense web development skills. Or at least that is the plan. Yet a friend has said "I may have a job for you" in another state. I'm torn and frustrated and trusting God that I'm not going to screw up. Also both my folks have some health problems, and my grandpa is likely going to need to move into assisted living.
Yes, no matter how old you get, you basically will never feel like everything makes sense and is in control.
From many sides I have lately heard the adage "Get comfortable with feeling uncomfortable."
It is in these times that you grow in faith and in skill.
I don't know why I feel more comfortable barfing this out here than on facebook where my "actual close family and friends" are, as opposed to you grungy lot from around the multiverse that I will probably never meet. (Oh, that's probably why...)